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Flickering candle

A message of hope. A message of faith. A message of change. Feeling weary from the words of abuse? I’ve got’cha. Beginning to believe them? Got ya there, too! Walking on eggshells because you have no idea what to expect today, or even in one hour? Been there, as well. Did your past hold sexual abuse or assault? Yeah, me too. But sister, I can assure you of this: A change is gonna come. Just like Sam Cooke sang about it, as sure as the sun will rise again, change is comin! Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but it’s on your horizon.

Being a victim of domestic/intimate partner violence is one of those things only another traveler can “get.” When I was drowning in its despair, no matter what anybody in church, on the women’s bowling league, in the beauty shop or at the grocery store told me, I was sure it was my permanent lot in life. I don’t think I could have possibly managed hearing one more time, “Just hang on, stand in faith,” or “Pray through,” or “God can change him.” I felt like the ultimate failure at “keepin’ the faith,” as poor a Christian as you could find, because that only served to convince me my faith was dead. Who DID they think I had been clinging to all those years? And it did no good for anyone to tell me, “Just leave.” They had not walked a foot in my shoes, much less a mile or a day.

But, just like that one tiny little flickering candle, as the breath of change blew, the light got brighter, stronger, and moved inside me. I began receiving the illumination of faith. Oh, my God, He did not desire for me to be abused, and just like He promised in Jeremiah 29:11, He had plans for me, good plans. There were many things I was to learn in the midst of my anguish and desperation, in the middle of the suffering and darkness, but that one tiny little flame kept right on a’burning!

Stoke the fire within you. Make those positive affirmations and speak them out. My foremost proclamations that got me through years of abuse were simply these:

“God doesn’t make junk” and “I believe in the sun when it does not shine. I believe in God when He is silent.”

You see, whether it is apparent or not to us at the time, He IS working on our behalf. As Solomon said, seek wisdom and get understanding. Get knowledge. Learn the signs of an abusive relationship, and learn how to develop a safety plan. Learn how to be safe. But especially, learn how absolutely marvelous and wonderful you are. Just because words of negativity are spoken over you does not make them true!

(I hope you will click on the link and listen to Sam Cooke sing, “A Change Gonna Come.” My heart’s desire is that it will speak to you as it has spoken to me, and even inspired this post to come about!)

About Carolyn S. Hennecy

Carolyn S. Hennecy - a/k/a southern blonde traveling with sense of humor and a passion for cheesecake, known to be heard several times a day declaring, "JUST PEACHY!" Advocate for domestic violence awareness; member of Sexual Violence Task Force of Tampa Bay Speakers Bureau; spokesperson for American Heart Association; motivational and inspirational speaker; Author of ORANGE BLOSSOM WISHES: Child Molested, Woman Abused - Her Victorious Journey to Freedom (Carolyn's memoirs), she will be featured on the ABC Action News (WFTS Tampa) Emmy award winning primetime special "Taking Action Against Domestic Violence" scheduled to air Friday, October 14, 2011 at 8:00 p.m.


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