//
you're reading...
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS, Sexual abuse

An Open Letter to Casey Anthony – From a Victim of Molestation


Dear Miss Anthony,

Dear Casey Anthony...

This letter is being written on an assumption that perhaps you truly were a victim of molestation as a little girl. Your defense is based upon that purported molestation and, that because of such victimization, you went into a mode of self-protection cloaked in pathological lying.  I can comprehend how that would come to be. You see, even after all these years since I disclosed my own victimization, there are still those who either choose not to believe me or simply look the other way, blissfully denying the truth at hand. Yes, I was molested. . . for a period of years. Yes, it affected much of my adult life, and most certainly had an impact on me as a wife and a mother. I made some poor choices, such as marrying an abusive alcoholic, which led to years of domestic violence before obtaining a divorce. My children were impacted by those years, as well. I made my share of screw-ups as a mom, Casey. But for the life of me, I just don’t get it. How could you allow your baby to come up missing for even more than an hour and not frantically begin searching, gathering every living human being within the range of your voice (or phone) to come and help you find her?

 Casey, there is a possibility that you were indeed molested as a child, and if that did in fact happen, I am so very sorry for your victimization and abuse. No child should ever have to endure being sexually assaulted or abused, and quite frankly, in my honest opinion, there is absolutely no acceptable justification for such actions. If your claim is true, then I know the fear you battled for so very long, doing all you could to hide the abomination that was perpetrated upon you. I know the dilemma of a young little mind trying to stay one step or thought ahead of his/her abuser. But, Miss Anthony, for those of us who were in fact sexually abused as children, let me point this out to you:

 A great percentage of victims of sexual assault and/or molestation are scarred for life. Yes, that is a fact. We will experience triggers and revictimization probably until we draw our last breath. But, dear Casey, we have not been inclined to use our abuse as justification to diminish our character or integrity, making it okay to become pathological liars. We have not used the abhorrent behavior we endured to excuse poor parenting, and most surely we have not let it take us to the point we went out to party while our precious baby had been missing for even more than a few hours, much less an entire month.

 So, in closing, Miss Anthony, if indeed you are a victim of child sexual molestation, I extend my condolences for the wrongs perpetrated upon you. But please, out of respect for those of us others who live each and every day as a survivor and overcomer, making the best of life without allowing the molestation to rule over us any longer, please do not think this is an acceptable form of defense. Rather, I, as a former victim, take it as an offense.

Sincerely,

Carolyn S. Hennecy

Survivor/Advocate

Listen to Carolyn’s interview with Cynthia Brennen, on “Help, Hope & Healing.” Visit her Everyday Health blog, Emotional Wellbeing, or her website at orangeblossomwishes.com.

About Carolyn S. Hennecy

Carolyn S. Hennecy - a/k/a southern blonde traveling with sense of humor and a passion for cheesecake, known to be heard several times a day declaring, "JUST PEACHY!" Advocate for domestic violence awareness; member of Sexual Violence Task Force of Tampa Bay Speakers Bureau; spokesperson for American Heart Association; motivational and inspirational speaker; Author of ORANGE BLOSSOM WISHES: Child Molested, Woman Abused - Her Victorious Journey to Freedom (Carolyn's memoirs), she will be featured on the ABC Action News (WFTS Tampa) Emmy award winning primetime special "Taking Action Against Domestic Violence" scheduled to air Friday, October 14, 2011 at 8:00 p.m.

Discussion

13 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Casey Anthony – From a Victim of Molestation

  1. Very nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have truly loved surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I’m hoping you write once more very soon!

    Posted by space for lease | December 20, 2011, 7:02 pm
  2. I would also like to see her pursue charges against George. However, I do not think she could if she wanted to. I do not know Florida law, but I do know what Georgia law was when I pressed charges against my own stepfather (GA code has changed since then in favor of the victim) concerning statute of limitations on molestation. In Georgia, a victim only had 4 years from the time they turn 18 to press charges. That is a big enough hurdle to face, then comes providing enough evidence. I can’t imagine what the outcome of my case would have been if I hadn’t had a child as a result. In my case, I had the date of my pregnancy (15 yrs old) and DNA to back me up. But even with that, my mother was reluctant to believe me and the authorities (DFACS and investigators) treated me as though I were a liar and a vengeful child. This made it very difficult at times to push forward through the process, but I made myself do so. So, with legal options being so limiting and social pressures being so negative towards victims of such crimes, I don’t forsee Casey being able to bring George to justice if her claims are truthful. (I hate saying ‘if’, because that denotes doubt, which is a painful insinuation for victims of sexual crimes.) Were she to bring charges against him, I wish her the strenght and courage that I found to follow through to the end. I wish the same for anyone facing similar situations as well.

    Posted by Betany Taylor | July 8, 2011, 2:22 pm
    • Betany, again, thank you for your enlightening words. Keep an eye on some upcoming blogs. As I continue to press in on this very issue, I hope to put the Anthony trial to bed and get back to the victims and struggling survivors. Please continue your visits. Your words are pure gold!

      Posted by Carolyn S. Hennecy | July 8, 2011, 4:07 pm
  3. I was victimized for years by my stepfather, which resulted in my oldest daughter’s birth. I recognize alot of my own defense mechanisms from before I came forward about the abuse in Casey Anthony, and alot of my own family’s reactions in her family. I can see the overwhelming power George holds over her, the fear and control he exerts. While I was always very introverted and was not promiscuous, I knew other victims of such abuse who were quite sexually active. Remember, everyone deals with trauma differently, some much less ‘gracefully’. I cannot say what I would have done had a tragic accident befallen my daughter, but I know what my stepfather would have done. He would have done everything he could to hide what happened because he knew that such an incident would stir up a serious investigation that could have revealed what HE did to me. (The same DNA evidence that provided proof positive for the charges I brought against him after I finally gained the strength to come out.) Now, if George Anthony thought he was possibly Caylee’s biological father (whether or not he actually was) what do you think he would do? And Casey, not knowing what else to do just flipped that switch in her brain that every victim of sexual abuse has…that one that blocks out the pain and painful memories, that one that we use to try to hide from painful truths, that one that cqn only be switched back off by turning around and facing the truth head-on at all costs. Now, I can’t say 100% that what she says is true. All I’m saying is that I can see it and it rings true to me.

    Posted by Betany Taylor | July 7, 2011, 10:46 am
    • Betany, you have been through one of the most reprehensible perpetrations a woman can go through – being impregnated by her parent (stepfather in this case). I have said over and over (maybe not online, but on sofa!) that as I looked into the face of Casey Anthony during closing arguments, I saw the look I remember carrying when I was a little girl being molested by an extended family member. You are right. Just when you think you have found a place of healing, something triggers and reminds you of a sound, a smell, a word, a voice, a threat… We carry scars that go much deeper than our skin or bones – they reside within our very soul. I saw that look of Casey’s body sitting in the chair, but her mind and spirit were not there. She was reliving SOMETHING, and while Americans throughout the country are volunteering to kill Casey, they should be asking if law enforcement will continue to follow this case. They should start with interrogating George. If he is innocent, sobeit. If he is not, let the law prevail. But in no way should Casey’s claim of molestation be dismissed. Unless you have been a victim of molestation and/or rape, you just probably don’t get it.

      Posted by Carolyn S. Hennecy | July 7, 2011, 12:39 pm
  4. Excellant letter, thank you Carolyn for all you do…

    Posted by Carol Marino | July 3, 2011, 7:06 pm
  5. regardless [possibly ] of george anthonys statements this person [CASEY ] HAS TOTALLY LIED [in my opinion ] to go to a website [or other] NOT only IS SHE UNCREDITABLE it should put the flags up for u folks i HAVE a extreme discust FOR PEOPLE WHO PERPASTRATE THESE THINGS convenient for her [OH YES ] SHE HAS USED TO COVER HER ASS used everything at her DISPOSAL to get off the hook did all this happen ? NOT EXCUSE FOR LIFE OF INOCENNT OR OTHERS we will never know EVEN IF some are acused life for them will NEVER BE THE SAME [BEWARE ] IM JUST A REGULAR BORING DAD AND PROUD OF IT all this sex abuse stuff i am totally deplored DONT LET PEOPLE USE THIS THIS SHOULD BE A LEARNING TOOL things are not always what they seem bless the true and hurting thxs JUST A REGULAR GUY CANADA

    Posted by terry | July 3, 2011, 4:19 pm
  6. Well, Carolyn, I think this woman came down very hard on you for your letter. It was tactful and actually kind about what has happened to a poor, little girl who couldn’t defend herself. I don’t believe for a minute that she drowned in the family pool. Casey Anthony is a VERY sick woman no matter what happened to her as a child (supposedly). I haven’t been able to watch much of the trial because it makes me feel sick. No, I was not abused as a child but I’ve known people who have been and we’ve all been seriously rejected and hurt by someone at one time or aother but it still doesn’t make it right to take it out on anyone especially a child. I ask myself, Why didn’t Casey’s parents do something or notice serious troubled behavior? No child deserves to die especially in this way. So, Carolyn, you are doing the right thing by putting your very tactful feelings out there about this situation. I don’t think I could be anywhere near as kind!

    Posted by Caroline Carr | July 3, 2011, 3:45 pm
  7. As an abuse survivor myself, I must say I am disappointed, if not disgusted, by your very smug and self-righteous “Open Letter to Casey Anthony.” It is this type of lack of understanding, judgmentalism, and lack of real belief and support for a fellow human being that allows sexual abuse to thrive. You state that you were not believed and supported, yet you exhibit this same behavior. And thus it is perpetuated…..

    In the first place, it is always advisable to get your facts straight. In his opening statements Jose’ Baez (Casey’s attorney) told the story of what happened. Caylee drowned in the family pool (a tragic accident ). George Anthony (Casey’s father) held up Caylee’s dead body to Casey and screamed at Casey that she would go to jail for life for child abuse if she told anyone. (Actually the facts point to the ladder to the pool being left in place by George and Casey’s mother, Cindy). George knew who would be held responsible. Casey lied about Caylee’s whereabouts at the behest of her father, as she had all her life.

    So, dear Carolyn, Caylee was not ever missing. The truth was hidden by Casey due to George’s threats. You seem to think this is so much worse than your “poor choices” of subjecting your children to years of torment by an abusive alcoholic. You obviously lack basic understanding of psychology, as well as of yourself.

    But what you should understand, if you are going to call yourself an “advocate” to survivors of abuse, is that this kind of lack of belief and lack of support for the victim is what perpetuates sexual abuse. If you have any ability to look at yourself, perhaps you can see how easy it is to “blissfully deny the truth at hand.”

    PS I see nothing negative about George Anthony, the sexual predator. It is so very easy to give the male a pass on the whole matter, isn’t it?

    Posted by Andrianda Lindholm | July 3, 2011, 11:10 am
    • Andrianda, it is always my practice to post comments that both agree and disagree with my comments, or else I would be a very closed-minded person. That is why I am posting your lengthy comment for others to see. I admit I am not perfect, I was sharing my heart as a survivor of many years of molestation and domestic violence. While I feel your “smug” and “self-righteous” remarks were a sort of personal attack upon me, you have that right. I moderate each incoming comment, and did not have to “approve” your comment for posting, but have chosen to do so. As far as getting facts straight, opening statements are one thing – proving them is quite another. Mr. Baez was morally if not legally required to follow through with what his opening statements were, but he traveled a different path and for whatever his reason, did not home in on the accidental drowning as I feel he should have. I would have driven that home like a new Lamborghini! I wish he had kept to his opening statements in his attempt to prove the case. It seems you totally missed my point – Casey Anthony is on trial for murder, not failure to report accidental drowning. I still find it totally offensive that anyone would attempt to use their years of molestation as a “defense” for first degree murder of their own child, especially for those of us who managed to pull our lives together and not kill or lie or hide truth. That does not mean I have drawn a conclusion as to Casey’s guilt or innocence. And, if you will take the time to read others of my blog posts, (as well as my FB entries) you will notice I have consistently called upon the State to investigate George Anthony for purported molestation of his daughter. NO! He should not be given a pass. Someone should hold his feet to the fire and pursue the allegations made. I realize how fear can grip a victim and cause them to keep silence. Many say Casey did not take the stand because she is guilty. I disagree. I DO know that having your (and I must use “purported” for legal purposes) molester in the same room, glaring at you for 8-9 hours a day totally intimidates you and revictimizes you. I’m sorry you felt inclined to be so judgmental of my letter to Casey. It was a part of a much larger picture. Perhaps if you read some of the comments and other blog posts – or God forbid, my book, you may shed a better light on the heart of this “advocate,” and perhaps find her intentions are never meant to be smug or self-righteous.

      Posted by Carolyn S. Hennecy | July 3, 2011, 1:12 pm
      • Carolyn…There are those of us who will ALWAYS be supportative of you and your heartfelt desire to reach out to help others …. regardless of other people attacking your character. In my opinion… as good people, we should learn to try not to judge others, until we have walked the miles in their moccasins….and believe me. I am still learning. But, WE know you come with a good heart into the arena of being a voice for victims of molestation and violence….and…Grandfather DOES walk with you!!
        Blessings….MVTO…..cindy womble

        Posted by cindy womble | July 24, 2011, 11:35 am
  8. Carolyn…
    Absolutely agreed with your letter. Whatever she endured as a child is no defence or excuse for her lack of mothering skills or lying as she does, and I totally agree with you that she is offensive to those who in fact….did suffer abuse as a child. You and others survived and overcame this abuse and became wonderful people. And I applaud you and all of the others in your success. Thanks for sharing and helping others in this world…your reward will be great!!
    Cindy Womble

    Posted by Cindy Womble | June 15, 2011, 9:57 am
  9. Hi Carolyn, Well said! I am here in Cincinnati, working with victims of sex abuse for thirteen years now. I can honestly say in all that time I have only met one person who used the abuse as an excuse for intolerable behavior. Victims of sex abuse are courageous and have amazing strengths evidenced by their abilities to cope and the difficult journey into freedom. I also resent a defense of “I was molested.”

    Posted by Rebecca Born | June 15, 2011, 9:48 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

CALENDAR-Browse the archives

June 2011
S M T W T F S
« May   Jul »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

View Carolyn’s story on ABC

Click here to view Carolyn's story on ABC

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 36 other followers

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 36 other followers

%d bloggers like this: