you're reading...


Pray, forgive . . . but forget???

All of my life I have been told I am required, as a Christian, to “forgive and forget,” but recently learned “forgive and forget” were not the words of the Christ. Granted, it is clearly stated in red letters, “To be forgiven, you must first forgive,” but where is the forgetting part?  I am open to correction, really I am, but after looking and studying, nowhere have I found we are required to forget the wrongs. We can utilize them as learning tools to help us not make poor choices or mistakes in the future regarding similar circumstances or people. But the forgiving part? We pretty much have to do that. It’s not an optional selection, as in “One from Column A…”

For a very long time I blatantly refused to make any attempt at forgiving either my molester or my abuser (“my”??? Was I taking ownership of them and their reprehensible acts against me?). Then epiphany! It took far too many years, but once I got it, I really GOT IT! Forgiving is releasing the offender from his/her power and control over your mind, heart, emotions, and sometimes, even your body. As long as we hold anger or animosity, they still win! They still maintain a level of control over me, over us. You see, bitterness and resentment are the devil’s fuel for the fire of abuse. They sustain the other party’s power and control over you, even long after the abuse has physically ended.

As if that were not enough, then the larger lesson came. By extending forgiveness, I found a level of freedom I never dreamed was possible. It was not in and of myself, but rather came from my deference to God and His power to work such a thing within and through me. He does good work!

Remarkably, I have not been required to forget the past, but rather to move forward from it. It is a place for learning from, not living in. The lessons from my past have now been turned to help other victims of molestation and/or domestic violence. In the meantime, I am finally free to be the “me” that our Creator meant for me to be all along! How great is that?

Carolyn is an advocate for sexual/domestic violence and assault awareness, also focusing on child sexual abuse. She is a Life Direction & Empowerment Coach, working with victims and survivors of molestation, sexual assault, domestic violence or spousal abuse, and bringing training to organizations seeking to help victims. Hennecy spent much time during October 2011, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, with media doing radio and television interviews. See Carolyn’s interview with Gayle Guyardo of NBC Channel 8 News Today Early Morning Show and her featured segment on the ABC Action News Emmy Award winning “Taking Action Against Domestic Violence” at orangeblossomwishes.com.

About Carolyn S. Hennecy

Carolyn S. Hennecy - a/k/a southern blonde traveling with sense of humor and a passion for cheesecake, known to be heard several times a day declaring, "JUST PEACHY!" Advocate for domestic violence awareness; member of Sexual Violence Task Force of Tampa Bay Speakers Bureau; spokesperson for American Heart Association; motivational and inspirational speaker; Author of ORANGE BLOSSOM WISHES: Child Molested, Woman Abused - Her Victorious Journey to Freedom (Carolyn's memoirs), she will be featured on the ABC Action News (WFTS Tampa) Emmy award winning primetime special "Taking Action Against Domestic Violence" scheduled to air Friday, October 14, 2011 at 8:00 p.m.



  1. I’m still studying through you, however I’m bettering myself. I definitely love studying all that’s written in your website. Keep the stories forthcoming. I cherished it! How do you seem to come up such any informative page…wonderful job!!!

    Posted by moncler down | December 20, 2011, 7:41 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

CALENDAR-Browse the archives

December 2011

View Carolyn’s story on ABC

Click here to view Carolyn's story on ABC

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 37 other followers

%d bloggers like this: