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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS

This category contains 173 posts

2011 in review


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 19,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many … Continue reading

WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY VICTIMS OF ABUSE?


Whether it is victimization by sexual abuse or domestic violence, it’s not always easy to pick out the victims. My book, Orange Blossom Wishes, was released in 2008. Since that time I am still asked on a consistent basis by many who knew me, some very close friends, “How did we not know? How did … Continue reading

WHAT ARE SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


Let’s start with the not so obvious issue of those women who come to me and say, “How do I know if I am a victim of domestic violence?” Yes, there are those out there who are uncertain of the fact if they are or are not a victim of domestic violence. To those I … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – I AM NOT STUPID! LOSING THE VICTIM MENTALITY


Okay, let’s get right to it. I was a victim of domestic violence for a very long time. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. BUT, it IS possible to continue to be victimized by domestic violence without continuing to live in it. If we continue to give the abuser power and … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—IS FORGIVENESS A REQUIREMENT?


All of my life I have been told I am required, as a Christian, to “forgive and forget,” but recently learned “forgive and forget” were not the words of the Christ. Granted, it is clearly stated in red letters, “To be forgiven, you must first forgive,” but where is the forgetting part?  I am open … Continue reading

WHAT IF SANDUSKY IS INNOCENT? PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE . . .


Earlier this week, Jerry Sandusky was scheduled to appear in court. He was to be confronted by his alleged victims who have decided to come out into the open, show their faces and go into vivid details of what they allege took place in the form of perpetrated sexual assault. One news reporter commented that … Continue reading

A “SANDUSKY” IN MY OWN BACK YARD?


Breaking news has been released today there were three arrests of coaching staff and youth pastors being arrested for sexual contact with minors in my hometown. Polk County is not a place one wants to be brought up on such charges. Most of the nation is familiar with the name of our Sheriff, Grady Judd. … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Developing a Safety Plan 101


Simplification is usually the best way to go. So, you are not contemplating leaving just yet, but you are consistently in fear, being verbally abused and beginning to think this is not the way you want the rest of your life to go. You have options and alternatives. For those who read this blog regularly, … Continue reading

PENN STATE – WHY ARE THE VICTIMS SO READY TO TESTIFY NOW?


Let’s get the disclaimer out of the way: Sandusky is innocent unless and until proven guilty. That makes these brave young men “purported” victims. So goes the Constitution. . . I think the count is up to eight victims who are insisting they want to come forward to testify against Coach Sandusky, alleging sexual assault … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: HOW DO I AVOID AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?


BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO ATTRACT! I used to repeat this phrase over and over again to the group I led as a Director of Singles Ministry—Be the kind of person you want to attract. You will attract the kind of person you ARE, not the kind of person you desire. I … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Seeing the Red Flags in Relationships


How did I ever get into a relationship that held domestic violence? What was I thinking? From out of nowhere, as I considered relationships over the past 2/3 of my life, I recognized a common factor in them. My significant other in each relationship came across as having something to hide about himself. I’m not really … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – AN 11-YEAR-OLD’S COMMENTARY


I was recently approached by an 11-year-old young lady regarding my work in the area of domestic violence. She had a problem and was seeking some help or guidance in how to manage it. We talked. I shared some wisdom and information, and she set forth to resolve it─at 11 years old! She then asked … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: CAN THE LEGISLATURE ADDRESS VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE?


Yes, I’m going there. I would bet my life on the fact that not one single victim of domestic violence homicide wasn’t first abused verbally and/or emotionally. It all started with a word, a glare, a grab. . . nothing to leave outer scars, but something that would drive countless hopeless individuals to choose to … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—LOVE NEVER INTENTIONALLY HURTS OR ABUSES


So, you have finally reached the age for dating? Or maybe you were divorced and have decided to go back into the dating scene? Before you put yourself into a place that might lead to a serious relationship, give it some serious thought. In high school? Well, “You’ll do it if you love me,” is … Continue reading

HOW DO I MAKE THE MOST OF MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INJUNCTION/RESTRAINING ORDER?


Are you thinking that injunction isn’t worth the paper it’s written on? Do you wonder how you can make the most of the fact you have an injunction against your abuser? You will notice when this Order was entered on my behalf, it was an Order for a temporary ex parte “injunction.” Today they are … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE HOLIDAYS


I have a lot to be thankful for, and I surely do not take that for granted. But I also know, firsthand, how difficult the holiday season is for victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. My personal experience was that there would most likely be a “flare up” of violence and/or abusiveness taking place on practically … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: I NEED AN INJUNCTION


No Contact Order. . .  Injunction for Protective Order. . . Restraining Order . . . Call them what you will. Many victims of domestic violence are not even aware they are available to them. Many know they exist, but have been threatened to be killed if they involve “the law,” and that includes the … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – WHY DO I NEED AN EXIT PLAN IF I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE?


Many who are current victims of domestic violence feel preparing an exit plan (or safety plan) is premature, since they are not ready to leave the abusive relationship. After all, he hasn’t thrown any punches yet. Let me ask you this: Why do you get a flu shot if you don’t already have the flu? … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE PROGRESSIVE


It is not uncommon to hear a victim of verbal or emotional abuse say, “Well, it’s not domestic violence. He’s never hit me.” Really? Do you think demeaning or threatening words don’t cause damage, too? There were many times I stood listening to the words spewing from his mouth, telling me how useless, stupid, fat … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 2


After another year or two of total detachment and singlehood, I decided to try again, through the internet sites. At least my radar had finally been delivered, installed and was operative, maybe not always working at its best, but better with each new encounter. I met some real loonies, once nearly being raped, once being … Continue reading

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