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Abusive relationships

This tag is associated with 79 posts

WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY VICTIMS OF ABUSE?


Whether it is victimization by sexual abuse or domestic violence, it’s not always easy to pick out the victims. My book, Orange Blossom Wishes, was released in 2008. Since that time I am still asked on a consistent basis by many who knew me, some very close friends, “How did we not know? How did … Continue reading

WHAT ARE SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


Let’s start with the not so obvious issue of those women who come to me and say, “How do I know if I am a victim of domestic violence?” Yes, there are those out there who are uncertain of the fact if they are or are not a victim of domestic violence. To those I … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—IS FORGIVENESS A REQUIREMENT?


All of my life I have been told I am required, as a Christian, to “forgive and forget,” but recently learned “forgive and forget” were not the words of the Christ. Granted, it is clearly stated in red letters, “To be forgiven, you must first forgive,” but where is the forgetting part?  I am open … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Developing a Safety Plan 101


Simplification is usually the best way to go. So, you are not contemplating leaving just yet, but you are consistently in fear, being verbally abused and beginning to think this is not the way you want the rest of your life to go. You have options and alternatives. For those who read this blog regularly, … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: HOW DO I AVOID AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?


BECOME THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO ATTRACT! I used to repeat this phrase over and over again to the group I led as a Director of Singles Ministry—Be the kind of person you want to attract. You will attract the kind of person you ARE, not the kind of person you desire. I … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Seeing the Red Flags in Relationships


How did I ever get into a relationship that held domestic violence? What was I thinking? From out of nowhere, as I considered relationships over the past 2/3 of my life, I recognized a common factor in them. My significant other in each relationship came across as having something to hide about himself. I’m not really … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE HOLIDAYS


I have a lot to be thankful for, and I surely do not take that for granted. But I also know, firsthand, how difficult the holiday season is for victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. My personal experience was that there would most likely be a “flare up” of violence and/or abusiveness taking place on practically … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: I NEED AN INJUNCTION


No Contact Order. . .  Injunction for Protective Order. . . Restraining Order . . . Call them what you will. Many victims of domestic violence are not even aware they are available to them. Many know they exist, but have been threatened to be killed if they involve “the law,” and that includes the … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – WHY DO I NEED AN EXIT PLAN IF I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE?


Many who are current victims of domestic violence feel preparing an exit plan (or safety plan) is premature, since they are not ready to leave the abusive relationship. After all, he hasn’t thrown any punches yet. Let me ask you this: Why do you get a flu shot if you don’t already have the flu? … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 1


There it was—a picture of my Daddy walking me down the aisle to be married. It startled me to finally notice, after all those years, the look on both our faces. There was no happiness or joy on our faces. We appeared as two serious generations who seemed to be walking to a gallows rather … Continue reading

LIVING NEXT DOOR TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


The Florida Attorney General’s Statewide Domestic Violence Fatality Review Team, in their report issued January 2011 found that “in 37% of domestic violence fatalities, family members, friends, co-workers and others were aware domestic violence was occurring.” In simpler terms, for every 3 women, men or children who die as the result of domestic violence, one … Continue reading

TODAY I HAVE A BIRTHDAY: What Does That Have to Do With Domestic Violence?


I never thought I’d make it to 60, but according to my birth certificate, shortly after midnight last night, I made it. I slept through it, but I woke up to love, flowers, gifts, tons of well wishes and a day full of joy and blessings. Then I began thinking. Today I am celebrating my … Continue reading

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT SPOUSE ABUSE AND DIVORCE?


Countless numbers pose the question: What does the Bible say about spouse abuse? The first scripture religion likes to jump on is found in the book of Malachi, “God hates divorce” (2:16). What is usually overlooked, though, in that scripture, is his admonishment that man is not to deal treacherously with his wife. A translation … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RATES INCREASE—IS CONGRESS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE?


Let’s get the disclaimer out of the way: This is an editorial and the statements contained herein are pretty much the opinion of the writer, unless the shoe fits, then perhaps the responsible party should wear it. There. Now, let’s get down to business. Today I read a report that there has been a 65% … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: YOU’RE HERE NOW BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE THEN (Making the Past a Positive)


How many times do victims of domestic violence ask themselves, “How do I get out of here?” When we become survivors, the question then becomes, “How did I get there in the first place?” After all, it makes no sense that anyone would actually set out to become the battered half of an abusive relationship, … Continue reading

A Survivor of Domestic Violence Looks Back—But He Told Me He Loved Me


I was young, naïve, gullible and needy. I wanted someone to love me. I had been sexually abused as a child, and considered myself damaged goods. Barely 18, I walked down the aisle of the church to marry someone because he told me he loved me, and that nobody else would want me. It was … Continue reading

Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence – Partners in Crime


Emotional wellbeing? Emotional health? Just what are they and how do victims of domestic violence reach them? How do we attempt to make some sense of senseless acts in life—molestation, spousal abuse, habitual rejection, poor choices in relationships… The list may seem extensive, but if you will stick with me, I think the result will … Continue reading

VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—You are More Than a Statistic


* Statistics tell us: One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. 85% of domestic violence victims are women. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew. Females who are 20-24 years … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—The Statistics Are Appalling


Think you are not affected by domestic violence? No assault or battery going on in your home? Read on and then tell me if you still think you are not impacted by domestic/intimate partner violence. Statistic: In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before … Continue reading

HOPE AND HELP FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS


Within the past week one of the top local news stories in our area has been the trial of a man who is charged with murdering his girlfriend by hacking her to death with a machete because “she disrespected me.” How aware are you of the levels of domestic violence in this nation? It has … Continue reading

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