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Domestic violence

This tag is associated with 112 posts

WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO IDENTIFY VICTIMS OF ABUSE?


Whether it is victimization by sexual abuse or domestic violence, it’s not always easy to pick out the victims. My book, Orange Blossom Wishes, was released in 2008. Since that time I am still asked on a consistent basis by many who knew me, some very close friends, “How did we not know? How did … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – I AM NOT STUPID! LOSING THE VICTIM MENTALITY


Okay, let’s get right to it. I was a victim of domestic violence for a very long time. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. BUT, it IS possible to continue to be victimized by domestic violence without continuing to live in it. If we continue to give the abuser power and … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—IS FORGIVENESS A REQUIREMENT?


All of my life I have been told I am required, as a Christian, to “forgive and forget,” but recently learned “forgive and forget” were not the words of the Christ. Granted, it is clearly stated in red letters, “To be forgiven, you must first forgive,” but where is the forgetting part?  I am open … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – AN 11-YEAR-OLD’S COMMENTARY


I was recently approached by an 11-year-old young lady regarding my work in the area of domestic violence. She had a problem and was seeking some help or guidance in how to manage it. We talked. I shared some wisdom and information, and she set forth to resolve it─at 11 years old! She then asked … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—LOVE NEVER INTENTIONALLY HURTS OR ABUSES


So, you have finally reached the age for dating? Or maybe you were divorced and have decided to go back into the dating scene? Before you put yourself into a place that might lead to a serious relationship, give it some serious thought. In high school? Well, “You’ll do it if you love me,” is … Continue reading

HOW DO I MAKE THE MOST OF MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INJUNCTION/RESTRAINING ORDER?


Are you thinking that injunction isn’t worth the paper it’s written on? Do you wonder how you can make the most of the fact you have an injunction against your abuser? You will notice when this Order was entered on my behalf, it was an Order for a temporary ex parte “injunction.” Today they are … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE HOLIDAYS


I have a lot to be thankful for, and I surely do not take that for granted. But I also know, firsthand, how difficult the holiday season is for victims of domestic/intimate partner violence. My personal experience was that there would most likely be a “flare up” of violence and/or abusiveness taking place on practically … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: I NEED AN INJUNCTION


No Contact Order. . .  Injunction for Protective Order. . . Restraining Order . . . Call them what you will. Many victims of domestic violence are not even aware they are available to them. Many know they exist, but have been threatened to be killed if they involve “the law,” and that includes the … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – WHY DO I NEED AN EXIT PLAN IF I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE?


Many who are current victims of domestic violence feel preparing an exit plan (or safety plan) is premature, since they are not ready to leave the abusive relationship. After all, he hasn’t thrown any punches yet. Let me ask you this: Why do you get a flu shot if you don’t already have the flu? … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE PROGRESSIVE


It is not uncommon to hear a victim of verbal or emotional abuse say, “Well, it’s not domestic violence. He’s never hit me.” Really? Do you think demeaning or threatening words don’t cause damage, too? There were many times I stood listening to the words spewing from his mouth, telling me how useless, stupid, fat … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 2


After another year or two of total detachment and singlehood, I decided to try again, through the internet sites. At least my radar had finally been delivered, installed and was operative, maybe not always working at its best, but better with each new encounter. I met some real loonies, once nearly being raped, once being … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 1


There it was—a picture of my Daddy walking me down the aisle to be married. It startled me to finally notice, after all those years, the look on both our faces. There was no happiness or joy on our faces. We appeared as two serious generations who seemed to be walking to a gallows rather … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND AN ATYPICAL VIEW OF THE ACORN


It all started with the writing of “The Lesson of the Oak Tree,” a tribute to one tree in one yard in my past. When the oak and I first met, I was a young mother and it was barely bigger than a sapling. I always considered it just another tree in a yard, until … Continue reading

LIVING NEXT DOOR TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


The Florida Attorney General’s Statewide Domestic Violence Fatality Review Team, in their report issued January 2011 found that “in 37% of domestic violence fatalities, family members, friends, co-workers and others were aware domestic violence was occurring.” In simpler terms, for every 3 women, men or children who die as the result of domestic violence, one … Continue reading

Parents Argue, Child Cuts—A Lesson in Self-Mutilation?


What does a child cutting have to do with domestic violence? This dilemma was recently posed to me. “I need to ask you about something. I have a friend at school that is cutting because her parents fight all the time. What should I do? “  Now, let me set the scene a bit clearer. … Continue reading

TODAY I HAVE A BIRTHDAY: What Does That Have to Do With Domestic Violence?


I never thought I’d make it to 60, but according to my birth certificate, shortly after midnight last night, I made it. I slept through it, but I woke up to love, flowers, gifts, tons of well wishes and a day full of joy and blessings. Then I began thinking. Today I am celebrating my … Continue reading

Halloween – and the last day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month


Personally, I find it a bit ironic that the last day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month is also the day of ghosts, goblins and tricks. Many survivors of domestic violence are still haunted by the ghosts of their past, while most victims are still being tricked into staying in an abusive or violent relationship. Ironically, … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – PARENTS AND CHILDREN ABUSING EACH OTHER


The majority of time, society considers domestic violence as a spouse abusing a spouse, or intimate partner abuse. How often do we hear or read reports of parents abusing their own children? We hear of babies being brutally beaten just to make them stop crying. A book that was published several years ago brought the … Continue reading

Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Carolyn speaks


I had the privilege of being interviewed by Gayle Guyardo of the Tampa NBC affiliate, WFLA, on the Channel 8 News Today morning show. We addressed my own personal story, in recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please take 6 minutes to view the spot. It has some valuable information regarding domestic violence. To … Continue reading

Domestic Violence – Monster in the Closet


There is just no way I can put it any clearer than this brief video from Verizon. Domestic violence lives just around the corner, across the street, sits at the next desk in your office, or on the bleacher beside you at the children’s soccer game. “Why doesn’t she just leave?” or “It’s really none … Continue reading

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