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Verbal abuse

This tag is associated with 19 posts

WHAT ARE SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


Let’s start with the not so obvious issue of those women who come to me and say, “How do I know if I am a victim of domestic violence?” Yes, there are those out there who are uncertain of the fact if they are or are not a victim of domestic violence. To those I … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – I AM NOT STUPID! LOSING THE VICTIM MENTALITY


Okay, let’s get right to it. I was a victim of domestic violence for a very long time. I am no longer a victim. I am a survivor. BUT, it IS possible to continue to be victimized by domestic violence without continuing to live in it. If we continue to give the abuser power and … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Seeing the Red Flags in Relationships


How did I ever get into a relationship that held domestic violence? What was I thinking? From out of nowhere, as I considered relationships over the past 2/3 of my life, I recognized a common factor in them. My significant other in each relationship came across as having something to hide about himself. I’m not really … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – AN 11-YEAR-OLD’S COMMENTARY


I was recently approached by an 11-year-old young lady regarding my work in the area of domestic violence. She had a problem and was seeking some help or guidance in how to manage it. We talked. I shared some wisdom and information, and she set forth to resolve it─at 11 years old! She then asked … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE PROGRESSIVE


It is not uncommon to hear a victim of verbal or emotional abuse say, “Well, it’s not domestic violence. He’s never hit me.” Really? Do you think demeaning or threatening words don’t cause damage, too? There were many times I stood listening to the words spewing from his mouth, telling me how useless, stupid, fat … Continue reading

Parents Argue, Child Cuts—A Lesson in Self-Mutilation?


What does a child cutting have to do with domestic violence? This dilemma was recently posed to me. “I need to ask you about something. I have a friend at school that is cutting because her parents fight all the time. What should I do? “  Now, let me set the scene a bit clearer. … Continue reading

IS VERBAL ABUSE A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


As surely as a trip starts with the first mile, or an omelet begins with breaking one egg, domestic violence starts with one word or sentence. The first occasion may consist of being told, “Shut up!” Perhaps it will soon be followed with, “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” The confrontations have … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE FAMILY PET


I didn’t get it when I was enduring many years of verbal and emotional abuse that whenever the threat was made to kill or harm our dog, it was a predictable red flag that domestic violence was present and at work in my life. It was also one of the primary reasons I chose to … Continue reading

Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence – Partners in Crime


Emotional wellbeing? Emotional health? Just what are they and how do victims of domestic violence reach them? How do we attempt to make some sense of senseless acts in life—molestation, spousal abuse, habitual rejection, poor choices in relationships… The list may seem extensive, but if you will stick with me, I think the result will … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – Where Does it Begin?


Many of us victims, former victims, struggling survivors and overcomers have at some time asked ourselves, “How did the domestic violence begin?”  I figure there are no statistics to back this up, but feel it is a dependable observation: Domestic violence, as well as spouse/intimate partner abuse starts with a word. That’s right, one word, … Continue reading

How Long Does Domestic Violence Last?


There are only three ways that I am aware domestic violence can end. They are:  1)  The victim separates him/herself from the abuser. 2)  The abuser is rehabilitated and changes his/her ways. 3)  The victim dies.  I know, it’s brutal, but it’s true. In my personal opinion, if the abuser is willing to seek counseling … Continue reading

Be Aware When an Abusive Partner Apologizes


Right up front, let’s establish that I have a long-running reputation as “Merry Sunshine” with a pair of rose-colored glasses permanently affixed to my face. So, if you read this article and feel I whizzed in your corn flakes, please bear in mind it’s a lot like broccoli. You may not like it, but it … Continue reading

The Lesson of the Oak Tree―Growing in the Midst of Abuse


Recently I was taken back to the house where I lived while enduring years of spousal abuse. It’s curious how some things that mean very little to others rivet our own attention. There in the front yard stood a stately, huge oak tree. I was amazed. I kept repeating to the reporter who was interviewing … Continue reading

Emotional Abuse and Your Faith


As a woman of faith, and seeing so many search engine terms coming up on my blog looking for answers as to how faith and abuse possibly fit together, I simply must make some meager attempt to address this point. I was raised in the 60s, and through that time society taught the religious tenets … Continue reading

Domestic Violence – In the Beginning: Emotional Abuse


No matter your age, as you read this blog, should you relate to any portion of it, we have something in common and are kindred spirits in a strange sort of way. The years of silence were unbearable. While keeping my mouth shut as a victim of molestation and abuse, the inner screaming was deafening—a … Continue reading

CAUTION! Domestic Violence: You Have Moved On – But Has He?


I applaud all women who have managed to find their way safely and sanely out of a relationship that involved domestic/intimate partner violence and moved on. BUT─Take note, and take caution. Just because you have moved on does not mean your former partner has. The average abusive partner will continue to stalk their victim for … Continue reading

Men Who are Victims of Abuse


Yes, it happens. Not very often, but it does happen. Men are sometimes the victim of domestic violence and abuse. Men get it coming and going. Society labels them as wimps if they “allow” their wives to run over them, yet they are admonished that a man should never hit a woman. So, what if … Continue reading

HIDING EVIDENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE


WHY do victims find it necessary to cover up or make allowances for the actions of their abusers—excuses for treatment they do not deserve?   A victim rarely speaks out immediately upon their first incident of domestic/intimate partner violence. That is probably because it innocuously worked its way to such a level, with intimidating words, … Continue reading

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL – MORE THAN A GAY ISSUE


“Don’t ask, don’t tell…” It’s been in the news a lot lately concerning the controversy of gays in the military. While I do not intend to minimalize that issue, I do want to bring a separate issue to the forefront…One of, if not the foremost, enemies of abuse, molestation or domestic violence is silence! So when it comes to stopping the unacceptable levels of children being molested and/or abused, or victims being physically violated, or killed, DO ASK! And victims? Be sure you are safe, but DO TELL. Continue reading

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