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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—Seeing the Red Flags in Relationships


How did I ever get into a relationship that held domestic violence? What was I thinking? From out of nowhere, as I considered relationships over the past 2/3 of my life, I recognized a common factor in them. My significant other in each relationship came across as having something to hide about himself. I’m not really … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – AN 11-YEAR-OLD’S COMMENTARY


I was recently approached by an 11-year-old young lady regarding my work in the area of domestic violence. She had a problem and was seeking some help or guidance in how to manage it. We talked. I shared some wisdom and information, and she set forth to resolve it─at 11 years old! She then asked … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—LOVE NEVER INTENTIONALLY HURTS OR ABUSES


So, you have finally reached the age for dating? Or maybe you were divorced and have decided to go back into the dating scene? Before you put yourself into a place that might lead to a serious relationship, give it some serious thought. In high school? Well, “You’ll do it if you love me,” is … Continue reading

HOW DO I MAKE THE MOST OF MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INJUNCTION/RESTRAINING ORDER?


Are you thinking that injunction isn’t worth the paper it’s written on? Do you wonder how you can make the most of the fact you have an injunction against your abuser? You will notice when this Order was entered on my behalf, it was an Order for a temporary ex parte “injunction.” Today they are … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – WHY DO I NEED AN EXIT PLAN IF I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE?


Many who are current victims of domestic violence feel preparing an exit plan (or safety plan) is premature, since they are not ready to leave the abusive relationship. After all, he hasn’t thrown any punches yet. Let me ask you this: Why do you get a flu shot if you don’t already have the flu? … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE ARE PROGRESSIVE


It is not uncommon to hear a victim of verbal or emotional abuse say, “Well, it’s not domestic violence. He’s never hit me.” Really? Do you think demeaning or threatening words don’t cause damage, too? There were many times I stood listening to the words spewing from his mouth, telling me how useless, stupid, fat … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 2


After another year or two of total detachment and singlehood, I decided to try again, through the internet sites. At least my radar had finally been delivered, installed and was operative, maybe not always working at its best, but better with each new encounter. I met some real loonies, once nearly being raped, once being … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—How Did I Get Into Another Abusive Relationship?—Part 1


There it was—a picture of my Daddy walking me down the aisle to be married. It startled me to finally notice, after all those years, the look on both our faces. There was no happiness or joy on our faces. We appeared as two serious generations who seemed to be walking to a gallows rather … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND AN ATYPICAL VIEW OF THE ACORN


It all started with the writing of “The Lesson of the Oak Tree,” a tribute to one tree in one yard in my past. When the oak and I first met, I was a young mother and it was barely bigger than a sapling. I always considered it just another tree in a yard, until … Continue reading

LIVING NEXT DOOR TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


The Florida Attorney General’s Statewide Domestic Violence Fatality Review Team, in their report issued January 2011 found that “in 37% of domestic violence fatalities, family members, friends, co-workers and others were aware domestic violence was occurring.” In simpler terms, for every 3 women, men or children who die as the result of domestic violence, one … Continue reading

TODAY I HAVE A BIRTHDAY: What Does That Have to Do With Domestic Violence?


I never thought I’d make it to 60, but according to my birth certificate, shortly after midnight last night, I made it. I slept through it, but I woke up to love, flowers, gifts, tons of well wishes and a day full of joy and blessings. Then I began thinking. Today I am celebrating my … Continue reading

Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Carolyn speaks


I had the privilege of being interviewed by Gayle Guyardo of the Tampa NBC affiliate, WFLA, on the Channel 8 News Today morning show. We addressed my own personal story, in recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please take 6 minutes to view the spot. It has some valuable information regarding domestic violence. To … Continue reading

Domestic Violence – Monster in the Closet


There is just no way I can put it any clearer than this brief video from Verizon. Domestic violence lives just around the corner, across the street, sits at the next desk in your office, or on the bleacher beside you at the children’s soccer game. “Why doesn’t she just leave?” or “It’s really none … Continue reading

VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: IT’S YOUR LIFE – IT’S YOUR CHOICE


At some time or another every victim of spouse abuse or domestic/intimate partner violence will be asked, “Why don’t you just leave?” We have a list as long as our arm as to why we stay, no matter how deeply we desire to get out of the situation. WE know why we choose to stay, … Continue reading

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED – Taking Action Against Domestic Violence


Have you read more than one post on my blog? Do you visit often, or is this your first time here? Please let me extend a special invitation to you. On October 14, 2011, beginning at 8:00 p.m., Eastern Time, ABC Action News will air their annual primetime Emmy award winning special, TAKING ACTION AGAINST … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE WORKPLACE


When we are busy at the office trying to meet deadlines, getting projects completed, answering phones that are ringing off the hook, domestic violence is probably one of the last things to cross our mind—unless we are a present victim. How many of our coworkers are being buffeted by spousal or intimate partner abuse or … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—WHEN BOTH PARTIES ARE ABUSERS


Have you ever known of a married couple who “just couldn’t get along?” They snipped and snapped, even in public, with no respect or regard for the other? It almost seemed as if they were egging the other on to take the first swing. Now, that is most certainly dysfunctional, but it is what I … Continue reading

WHAT BRINGS ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


For far too long we have considered domestic violence as an anger management issue. Someone loses their temper and flies off the handle. That is only the tip of the iceberg. The driving force behind domestic/intimate partner violence is the fear of losing power and/or control over the victim. It is rare that domestic violence … Continue reading

IT COULD BE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IF . . .


  The perpetrator is abusing drugs or alcohol, and especially if it is escalating. There is a threat of taking the children away from you, and proving you an unfit mother. The family pet is being abused, or there are threats of it happening. You find yourself being verbally belittled, emotionally abused or ordered around … Continue reading

VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—WHY WAS BEA DICKEY MURDERED?


This question came up on my blog recently. Unfortunately, there are times and murders when we just can’t seem to come up with an acceptable answer or explanation. Bea Dickey’s murder, at the time of this writing, did not fit the norm. Most victims who die at the hands of domestic violence are either shot … Continue reading

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