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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—From “Beautiful” to Abused


Looking back, I realize I was starving for some positive attention. So, when this guy who I had never seen before crashed my party and began telling me how beautiful I was and how much he wanted to take me on a date, I was flattered. You see, at best I saw myself as average. … Continue reading

IS VERBAL ABUSE A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?


As surely as a trip starts with the first mile, or an omelet begins with breaking one egg, domestic violence starts with one word or sentence. The first occasion may consist of being told, “Shut up!” Perhaps it will soon be followed with, “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” The confrontations have … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—BUT A WIFE IS TO SUBMIT, RIGHT?


Taking on the meaning of scriptures and their translation can be a sticky mess at times.  Many versions of the often quoted Ephesians 5:22 tell us, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord.” Okay, so maybe Paul was using submit as one form of the verb, but we have carried it all … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RATES INCREASE—IS CONGRESS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE?


Let’s get the disclaimer out of the way: This is an editorial and the statements contained herein are pretty much the opinion of the writer, unless the shoe fits, then perhaps the responsible party should wear it. There. Now, let’s get down to business. Today I read a report that there has been a 65% … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR: YOU’RE HERE NOW BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE THEN (Making the Past a Positive)


How many times do victims of domestic violence ask themselves, “How do I get out of here?” When we become survivors, the question then becomes, “How did I get there in the first place?” After all, it makes no sense that anyone would actually set out to become the battered half of an abusive relationship, … Continue reading

A Survivor of Domestic Violence Looks Back—But He Told Me He Loved Me


I was young, naïve, gullible and needy. I wanted someone to love me. I had been sexually abused as a child, and considered myself damaged goods. Barely 18, I walked down the aisle of the church to marry someone because he told me he loved me, and that nobody else would want me. It was … Continue reading

Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence – Partners in Crime


Emotional wellbeing? Emotional health? Just what are they and how do victims of domestic violence reach them? How do we attempt to make some sense of senseless acts in life—molestation, spousal abuse, habitual rejection, poor choices in relationships… The list may seem extensive, but if you will stick with me, I think the result will … Continue reading

VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—You are More Than a Statistic


* Statistics tell us: One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. 85% of domestic violence victims are women. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew. Females who are 20-24 years … Continue reading

Carolyn’s Story to Air on ABC Action News – 2011 Campaign


 It has been quite a journey, from a young 18-year-old bride, living through 16+ years of domestic violence, then finding a life full of hope, faith, restoration and empowerment – empowerment to reach out and help others who are being victimized today, or struggling in their attempt at becoming a survivor. ABC Action News annually produces their … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – Where Does it Begin?


Many of us victims, former victims, struggling survivors and overcomers have at some time asked ourselves, “How did the domestic violence begin?”  I figure there are no statistics to back this up, but feel it is a dependable observation: Domestic violence, as well as spouse/intimate partner abuse starts with a word. That’s right, one word, … Continue reading

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE—25% of all American Women?


Cut a pie in half. Now, cut each half in half. You have four portions. Place each of the three slices on a pretty china plate. But wait, what about that fourth piece of pie still in the pan, sitting all alone, surrounded by residue with nowhere to go? Pierce it a few times with … Continue reading

Traveling in Our Destiny


Are we living with purpose? Great question, huh? But, wouldn’t it make sense to know just what our purpose is before we try to give an answer? Some are probably wondering what this has to do with our emotional wellbeing. In a word—everything. I floundered for many years, halfway knowing I had a reason for … Continue reading

The Bible Says I Must Forgive—What About Forgetting?


Forgiving – a divine intervention? The first Bible verse I ever learned was, “Love one another.” Then, the Lord’s Prayer—”Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I got older and found in red letters, “To be forgiven, you must first forgive, for as you forgive, in like manner you will … Continue reading

How Long Does Domestic Violence Last?


There are only three ways that I am aware domestic violence can end. They are:  1)  The victim separates him/herself from the abuser. 2)  The abuser is rehabilitated and changes his/her ways. 3)  The victim dies.  I know, it’s brutal, but it’s true. In my personal opinion, if the abuser is willing to seek counseling … Continue reading

Society’s View on Victims of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence


How far have we come? I recently read an article stating a television personality “got what she deserved” when she was gang-raped. Another tweeted ridiculous comments, begrudgingly eventually apologizing – sort of. Can we say “Neanderthal?” First, it should be brought to that commentator’s attention rape is not a crime driven by lust or horniness. … Continue reading

Presence of the Past – A Challenge for Survivors of Abuse


We have heard it so many times―You just have to get over the past. It’s an easy enough statement to make, but not so simple to do. For years I have stated, and even included in my book the admonition, “The past is for learning from, not living in.” But the truth is, the very … Continue reading

The Trial is Over—Can We Get Back to Helping Victims?


I am absolutely astonished at the number of hits on my blog driven by search terms regarding Casey Anthony. It has been mind-boggling. I jumped aboard that train and rode it because of the accusations of molestation, domestic violence/abuse and well, like everyone else, just trying to get some answers and make some sense of … Continue reading

Casey & George Anthony—On Behalf of Victims of Molestation


Throughout the Casey Anthony trial I strongly held the position being molested as a child is not an acceptable defense for murder. I did not take that position to help persecute or prosecute Casey. I heard from many other molestation victims who were just as offended as I had been at the use of that … Continue reading

Casey Anthony vs. Nancy Grace?


And the winner is — neither! While my intent is not to take a stand here for or against Casey Anthony, or expound on all the reasons I feel she might have been found guilty as charged, I am compelled to address the “coverage” given this case by Ms. Grace. It is apparent that Nancy … Continue reading

Dealing with the Guilt of Leaving an Abusive Relationship


GUILT—What a powerful weapon when used against a victim of spouse abuse or domestic violence. It can be wielded in so many different directions. The victim must deal with the guilt of breaking up a marriage or intimate relationship, quite possibly separating a family. Children will lose time with their father. Their lifestyle will most … Continue reading

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